


Some Flowers Bloom Best in the Fall

by teasgaypanic



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: BUT NO REALLY FUCK HER AND HER TERF FUCKING VIEWS, Dark Harry Potter, Exuding Sapphic Energy, F/F, Female Harry Potter, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Issues, Goodish Bellatrix, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Loneliness, MTF Harry Potter, Manipulative Albus Dumbledore, Semi friendly draco at some point, She will be depressed but it will get better... eventually, Slytherin Harry Potter, THIS IS FOR JK YOU RAGGEDY ANN BITCH WHYD YOU TAKE ME OFF THE MOTHER FUCKING SCHEDULE, This will be gay, Trans Harry Potter, but not evil, yes this is an excuse to self insert what about it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:34:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27397291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teasgaypanic/pseuds/teasgaypanic
Summary: Harry Potter was never normal, and never would be.Sorted into Slytherin, they are in for the surprise of the lifetime, and it is still to be determined if that is a good or bad thing.Harry Potter would never be normal, but that doesn't mean Calla Lily Potter can't.
Relationships: Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Comments: 14
Kudos: 52





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. I am Tea. I recently discovered that I am trans and have had this in the drafts for as long as I can remember, way before I ever realized I was trans. This feels like the perfect time to write this story because I'm deeply depressed by what she has said, and I feel like a lot of other people are as well. This will be dark, as many stories are, but this will end happily because everybody deserves their happy ending no matter who they are. If you guys ever need anybody to talk to, or just want to shoot the shit, follow my twitter @elliesamity. My DMs are always open.
> 
> Also, this story is going to be gay gay. Like super gay. LIKE THE SAPPHIC ENERGY WILL BE HERE AND QUEER. 
> 
> Also I am not one of Snape's shooters, I don't really like the guy, but it fit my story well to have him be there for Calla in a time where not many people will be.
> 
> sorry im sleep deprived.

Harry (questionable) Potter was not having a great day.

Not only was it a day in which he was forced to go out on the town with his Aunt Petunia, but Petunia was giving him dirty looks every single time he spent a little too long looking in the shops at the dresses. He would have some smartass response to give her, but she was already most likely going to lock him up in his cupboard until his Uncle got home to “deal with him”.

Harry did not lead a happy childhood if you could call it that. He was no better than a servant to his abusive family, but if he did anything wrong, or as they call it “freaky”, he knew that he would be in a world of pain.

It’s not that he went out searching for the freakiness, but it always ended up finding him. Like the time he was running away from Dudley while he and his gang were doing their favorite extracurricular activity, dubbed “Harry Hunting”, or the time when his aunt cut his hair until he was practically bald, and the next morning it had grown back as if she had never taken those rusty scissors to his scalp.

That wasn’t the only “freaky” thing about Harry though. It wasn’t his fault that he thought that the flower patterns and the metaphorical girl colors were pretty neat, and that he sometimes wished that he was born a girl so that he might be normal in his relative’s eyes. He never understood why everybody else got to be themselves but he was forced to be the freak that lived in the cupboard under the stairs.

“BOY! Let's get going, we still have to be home in time for you to bake Dudders birthday cake,” his aunt yelled at him.

“Yes Aunt Petunia,” he answered solemnly while working hard to keep the smirk off his face. He thought that it was funny that she looked very similar to a peacock whose feathers had just been ruffled when she yelled, but he wasn’t going to let her know that thought unless he wanted to be in more pain later tonight. 

\-----

Later that night, Harry was in pain, but this was nothing new. He was pretty sure that he had a broken arm, and probably a broken rib, but he wasn’t sure how much more fight he had left in him. He was only nine, almost ten, but he honestly didn’t feel like he had a life in the first place, let alone one to keep fighting for.

Nobody cared about him… well maybe his parents had, but they had died when he was young and they stuck him here with his relatives. There was really nothing keeping him to the land of the living, and he wished that someday he would just be able to find a place of his own.


	2. Prologue II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We see a little more into Harry, or is it Calla's, pysche. We also learn a little bit more about who she is through a choice that she makes, and she finally understands... somewhat, the feelings that she is having.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See end notes for a little explanation on shit hehe.

Harry had never been in this much trouble.

It had been a rather normal day, at least in the morning, but that had all changed around eleven a.m. 

It was Dudley’s birthday, and usually, the Dursleys would send Harry over to Old Ms. Figgs house after they cooked their breakfast. Well, that’s what they would usually do. This year was different though because apparently Ms. Figg had fallen down and broken her leg, and while Harry usually would be ecstatic not to have to go and be surrounded by the smell of what felt like thirty cats, this year was different.

They didn’t know why, but he just felt like there was something wrong in the air.

That feeling didn’t go away no matter how much time passed, whether that be when Uncle Vernon pulled them aside and roughly told them, with a fat finger in their face, that he would not put up with “any funny business, any at all.”

They had at least one good thing that happened that day. Apparently, their aunt Petunia had got Dudley the wrong toppings on his ice cream after lunch (it was actually the correct order the fat whale just wanted more ice cream, and it was ‘little Dudders birthday’ after all), but not being people to waste perfectly good food they had decided to give Harry the rest of the ice cream treat.

All of it went to shit though when Dudley had pushed them out of the way, and after feeling the sharp pain of her knees scratching the pavement, all they wanted was to make Dudley feel pain. No, they didn’t want Dudley to die, but just a little pain like they had felt all their lives.

What surprised them is that apparently, a guardian angel was watching over her, a guardian angel that had taken a ten year coffee break, but a guardian angel nonetheless. The glass separating the snake from their fat whale of a cousin had vanished, and the snake that she had just been conversing with took a snap at Dudley, sinking two teeth into his arm and then slithering out the door. They really had to stop themselves from laughing, but no matter what Uncle Vernon ended up blaming the whole incident on them.

‘It probably was them this time, but at least act surprised for once you fat bladder’ Harry thought darkly to themselves.

*SFBBINTF*

They were in big trouble for the serpentine adventure at the zoo.

Their day started when they woke up to the sharp knocking on her cupboard door, and the loud squeal from their Aunt Petunia.  
“Up! Get up!” Aunt Petunia squeals, surprisingly like a bird screeching, and Harry hustled to get up off their small cot. 

“Yes Aunt Petunia,” Harry said quietly while laughing quietly inside at the picture of a bird with Petunia’s face screeching to wake up the farm hands on a farm. ‘Poor bird’ they thought to themselves.

“Today you have to clean out the attic, and after that, you have to mow the lawn, now get to it” Aunt Petunia yelled, making it even harder for Harry to get the bird image out of their brain. 

They hustled up to the top story of the house, sadly with three rooms, none that were theirs, and pulled down the string that allowed them to make their way up to the attic. 

After about an hour of moving boxes around into orderly space so that they could fully deep clean the attic, they noticed the most peculiar looking box. It looked somewhat like a suitcase, but one that would have been seen in the 1800s. They moved closer to the box, and the name etched into it almost caused tears to threaten to spill, something that they hadn’t allowed to happen in six years when they were first hit physically by Uncle Vernon. 

The suitcase… thing read Lily Potter.

They had never moved faster in their lives, and before they knew it they had thrown the box open and were leafing through the items. On top laid something called a will, which they would read later, but what caught their attention was a book. When they looked closer they noticed that it was a journal, and on the cover was what looked like a big pot with weird-looking smoke coming out of it. There was also a book next to it, titled ‘Advanced Potions for the Aspiring Potion Makers". Completely interested, they picked that book up first and leafed through it. Some of the “ingredients” in the books were weird things like a bezoar that could apparently be found in the stomach of a goat, but some others were only somewhat weird like the “thorns from a blue winter rose”. 

After they were done with that book, they picked up what looked like a journal. When they opened it up they saw that it had dates in it, and all of the entries were very long and detailed. Some of the earliest one's detailed adventures with her mother’s friend Severus (what a funny name), and the later were most exasperated readings about some people called the Marauders, which apparently their dad, James, was a part of. What they did was mostly pick on the boy mentioned earlier Severus, but they got less extreme the closer to the end they got. They still didn’t feel all that great, Harry hated bullies, but it honestly seemed like schoolboys being rivals that sometimes crossed lines. 

What surprised her the most while reading through was that their mum was apparently a witch, and their father was apparently a wizard, and they apparently had magic running through their veins.

Near the end, they noticed a letter, and it was apparently addressed to them.

It read:

'Dear Harry (or Calla Lily, or whatever name you have chosen),

My sweet baby, if you are reading this then it means that you’re father and I have moved on to our next great adventure.

We both love you so very much, and we truly hope that you are safe and happy wherever you are, but if not know that we will always be with you.

I wanted to write this letter to you just in case you ever found yourself in less than desirable living conditions. There are things we truly hope don’t happen, but we want to cover all our bases just in case they have.

First off, if these terrible things have happened, we just want you to know that we love you so very much.

Secondly, yes, you are magic, and you will one day be so great that the wizarding world will never know what hit them.

Thirdly, don’t follow Dumbledore blindly. If you don’t know who that is, you will someday soon. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t listen to him, or that you should fight for the light if that is what you feel is best, but we are just saying that you shouldn’t follow somebody you barely know blindly. We never did, and it was only an extreme scenario that forced your father and I to put our complete one hundred percent faith in the man. He is a great wizard, but even the greats are sometimes misguided in their decision making.

Fourthly, (I truly hate writing like this sweetheart, it makes the bookworm in me go crazy but it's the best way to detail all I need to because I don’t know how old you will be when you read this), your core is blocked. Magic runs off of a magical core, and when you were a baby we were forced to put one on you because your accidental magic was incredibly powerful for a newborn and infant, and we were scared that you would hurt yourself. Make sure you get that taken care of.

Lastly, and it kind of deals with the core block, you have an incredible and rare skill known as metamorphmagus. It’s incredibly rare, only prominent in one of the Ancient and Noble Houses, but none the less you were born with it. If you were confused by the address of the letter, don’t be, somedays I would pick you out of your cradle and you would be a boy, and sometimes when I put you to bed you would be a girl. When we blocked your core, we also ended up blocking your ability at the time, and we were going to wait until a time where you were old enough to choose fully what gender you wanted to appear as and what name to go by.

Just in case, your father and I picked two names that we had found preferable and decided to call you by those, but it is completely and one hundred percent up to you what you are and what you do with your life. There may be people who try to lead you in one way or another, but that isn’t how we wanted you to be raised, and we don’t want you to be burdened by what others think your mother and father would’ve wanted for you. We just want you to be you.

We love you so much baby, and just know, when it is your time to move on to your own next great adventure, your father and I will be waiting there for you and we will be dying to give you the biggest, fattest hug you have ever received. 

Love,

Lily Potter nee Evans

Lady of the Noble and Ancient House of Potter'

After reading the letter, it felt like Harry had an epiphany. The letter helped them realize who they truly wanted to be, and explained these feelings that they have had all of their lives.

With tears running down her face, Calla Lily Potter stood up for the first time, and knew…

She was a girl, and she was free to be who she wanted no matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I am back and I just wanted to explain some things before we move forward.
> 
> Firstly, I understand that this isn't everybody's journey into self-discovery and how a lot of people realize that they're trans, but I am loosely basing it off my own experiences through this journey. You will notice that Harry, later Calla, is referring to themselves using they/them pronouns, and nothing really triggered that. In their own subconscious this just made them more comfortable than he/him pronouns, so many of their thoughts are just kind of use they/them pronouns for themselves up until this point. I identified as non-binary before I realized I was trans, so that's basically the mindset that Calla is in right now until the letter.
> 
> Secondly, I tried to describe how my Dumbledore will act. I believe in my heart of hearts that Dumbledore was a good man that wanted the absolute best for the wizarding world, I mean I cried the first time I read his death, but I still think that he's a manipulative bastard and as Snape says, Dumbledore was raising Harry to be a lamb for slaughter. He could've explained more, like with the prophecy, but it was easier to manipulate those around him for his desired outcome, especially Harry, and while I enjoy him and his character he's still kind of an asshole for that. Calla will be her own person and a lot harder to manipulate, and I'm going to try and stay away from the DUMBLEDORE BAD BAD MAN ALL HE DO IS MANIPULATE EVERYONE AND RONALD IS HIS HENCHMAN tropes, but I also have to make this story my own off of my experiences while reading and rereading the books.
> 
> Thirdly, yes, I took the easy way out when it came to the transitioning aspect and made Calla a metamorphmagus, but COME ON. I'm writing a fanfiction based in a magical world where there is literally a subset of people that can change their appearance and gender at will. I wish it was that easy irl, and Calla is going to have to deal with a lot of other outside forces like deadnaming, people who think they know better, misgendering, a wizarding public as a whole who are expecting the "Boy-Who-Lived", and just your normal sapphic gay panic tomfoolery. Also, I want Tonks to be a sort of mentor to Calla, and I found this as a fun way to introduce a McGonagall and Calla friendship. Her main three mentors will ultimately be McGonagall, Snape (still not the biggest fan, but he'll help her early on and gain her trust), and Tonks.
> 
> When I was originally drafting this story, it was completely different from what I have now. I had a sad and alone trans, lesbian Harry/Calla with no friends, and everyone basically hating her, but I realized that's not a story I wanted to completely invest my time into. Yes, there will be angst, and there will be some PTSD from living with the Dursleys for a decade (and you know the psycho mass murderer who killed her parents and is trying to kill her), but now I want to find a good mix between a little angst, and happy go lucky sapphic and friendship fun time because this is a self insert story at the end of the day, and most days the only reason I cope is because of my beautiful girlfriend and my amazing friends that are like sisters to me. 
> 
> Lastly, who do you think I'll be pairing Calla Lily up with? I'm excited to hear your thoughts, and I think that this characters fanon demeanor will be really good for Calla as a friend and later love interest.
> 
> Thanks for letting me rant! See ya next time!

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter questioned: What do you think of the name Calla Lily. I thought I was being super fucking big brain but then I found a long since abandoned story with the same name. I guess other people have the same flower diagram as I do.


End file.
